Amy Jam is a Senior Technical Program Manager with over two decades of experience leading complex projects in technology and defence.
Specialising in large-scale system implementations, she has often been the only woman in the room, a position that she’s used to pave the way for future female leaders. Amy is also an esteemed business coach, author, entrepreneur, is the Co-Owner of Bread Bros in California and is an advocate for resilience and empowerment in the workplace.
Stepping into a room as the only woman can feel like entering a spotlight where every action, word, and even silence seems magnified.
This experience is all too familiar in fields dominated by men, such as Technology and Defence, where my career has taken me. I remember the first few times I found myself at a table full of men, often seasoned experts, discussing complex projects in military settings. It was daunting, and I felt that any misstep would confirm unspoken doubts about my capability or belonging. This feeling made me quite apprehensive when it came to speaking up and contributing to the conversation.
Over time, however, I learned to see these situations differently, reframing them to bolster my confidence. For any woman facing similar challenges, here’s what helped me shift from feeling out of place to feeling empowered in those rooms.
Recognise Your Value
Early on, I realized that my presence in the room wasn’t by chance. I was there because I’d proven my skills and abilities. If I was trusted with these responsibilities, I had to trust myself too. This acknowledgment became my foundation. It reminded me that if I didn’t belong, I wouldn’t be invited. By flipping the perspective to focus on why I was there rather than worrying about being the “only” woman there, I could draw strength from the validation embedded in simply having a seat at that table.
Own Your Unique Perspective
In environments like tech and defence, where a male-dominated culture often drives decisions, having a fresh voice, a different background, or an alternative viewpoint isn’t just valuable—it’s essential. I learned to trust that my contributions brought something different and often necessary. Embracing my unique perspective allowed me to be unapologetic about sharing it, knowing that my insights could elevate the conversation in ways others might overlook.
Transform Intimidation into Inspiration
Being the only woman (and sometimes the youngest) in the room felt intimidating at first. But instead of letting that intimidate me, I began to see it as a point of pride. If I could navigate these spaces, it spoke volumes about my resilience and capability. With time, I allowed this sense of pride to fuel my confidence, using each experience to build a layer of fortitude.
Find Allies and Mentors
The power of connection cannot be overstated. Identifying mentors and allies, both male and female, who support you and recognize your work is invaluable. These relationships offer encouragement and sometimes provide a different lens through which to view your experiences. A mentor once reminded me that every leader has had to overcome their own set of barriers. Hearing their stories of self-doubt and triumph reminded me that feeling out of place can be universal, but it’s not insurmountable.
Redefine Your Own Confidence
Finally, I realised that confidence doesn’t mean always feeling fearless or infallible. For me, confidence became synonymous with resilience in showing up, doing my best, and continuing to grow despite any doubts or fears. It’s about embracing progress, not perfection. I still encounter moments of hesitation, but now, I trust that my experience, perspective, and unique voice deserve a place at the table.
Being the only woman in the room can feel isolating, but it can also be an invitation to rise. It’s an opportunity to show up not just for yourself but for those who come after you. Each time you enter that room, remember: you’re there because you earned it. And when you let your presence be a quiet statement of resilience and expertise, you’re opening doors for yourself and for those who will follow.
