Rachael Lawrence is the Author of Confident as F*ck: 9 Bold Moves for Midlife Women to Rewrite the Rules, Ditch Imposter Syndrome and Finally Take Centre Stage.
There is a quiet belief many high-achieving women carry with them.
It goes something like this. Once I reach a certain level, I will finally feel confident. Once I have more experience, more responsibility, more proof, the self-doubt will disappear.
For most women, that moment never arrives.
Instead, success often brings a new kind of pressure. The stakes feel higher. The visibility increases. The internal voice becomes louder, not quieter. This is the confidence myth. The idea that confidence is a destination you reach, rather than a relationship you build with yourself along the way.
For women in fast-moving, high-performance industries like tech, this myth can be especially damaging.
Why achievement does not silence self-doubt
From the outside, high-achieving women look assured. They are capable, respected, and often operating at a level many aspire to. Internally, the story can feel very different.
Achievement does not automatically rewrite your internal narrative. In fact, it can amplify it. When you care deeply about doing good work, about being credible, and about not letting others down, self-doubt often comes along for the ride.
Many women assume this means something is wrong with them. That they are lacking confidence, or that they have somehow missed a step everyone else has mastered. In reality, it often means the opposite. It means they are self-aware, conscientious, and stretching themselves beyond what is familiar.
The irony is that the women who question themselves the most are often the ones who take their responsibility seriously.
The environments that reinforce the imposter feeling
Context matters. Confidence does not exist in a vacuum.
In industries where women are still underrepresented at senior levels, it is common to feel hyper-visible and invisible at the same time. You are noticed, scrutinised, and sometimes held to unspoken standards, while also feeling overlooked or underestimated.
Being promoted quickly, stepping into leadership, or being invited into rooms where decisions are made can trigger a sense of internal alarm. You might hear yourself thinking, I hope they do not realise I am still figuring this out.
What often goes unsaid is that most people are still figuring it out. The difference is that some have learned to perform certainty, while others are quietly wrestling with their doubts behind the scenes.
When confidence is mistaken for certainty or loudness, thoughtful, reflective women can start to believe they are doing it wrong.
Confidence is not the absence of doubt
One of the most liberating shifts women can make is to stop trying to eliminate self-doubt.
Confidence is not about feeling fearless. It is not about having all the answers or never questioning yourself. True confidence is about self-trust. It is about knowing you can navigate challenges, make decisions, and recover when things do not go to plan.
Doubt often shows up when you are growing. When you are learning something new. When you are stepping into visibility. The presence of doubt does not mean you are an imposter. It usually means you are evolving.
Confident women still feel uncertain at times. They have simply stopped using that uncertainty as evidence that they do not belong.
What actually helps
What helps is not more external validation, although that can feel reassuring in the short term. What helps is changing how you relate to the voice in your head.
This might look like recognising the difference between being uncomfortable and being incapable. Allowing yourself to be seen before you feel ready. Letting experience, not perfection, be the teacher.
It also means questioning the rules you have absorbed about how confidence should look. You do not need to be the loudest voice in the room to be influential. You do not need to have everything mapped out to lead effectively.
Confidence grows through action, reflection, and self-compassion, not through waiting until the doubt disappears.
A quieter, truer definition of confidence
If you feel like an imposter despite your achievements, it does not mean you are failing. It often means you are playing at the edge of your comfort zone, where growth lives.
The most confident women I know are not the ones who never doubt themselves. They are the ones who have learned not to let doubt dictate their decisions.
Confidence is not something you earn once and keep forever. It is something you practise. Quietly, on repeat, with honesty.
And for many high-achieving women, that realisation is not a weakness. It is the beginning of a much steadier kind of power.
