To help us answer these questions is coach, Fiona Hatton.
As a coach, Fiona supports women to live a happier life: through prioritising their wellbeing, doing more of what they love, and focusing on what really matters to them. She has worked with women who’ve gone on to change career, leave a toxic workplace, and make big life decisions about where (and how) they want to live.
Join the Yoco Studio community for free resources, useful tips and offers. Find out more about her coaching and yoga packages at http://www.yoco.studio.
IF YOU HAVE ANY QUESTIONS FOR US – WHETHER IT BE ABOUT WORK RELATIONSHIPS, GAINING CONFIDENCE, OR TAKING THE LEAP INTO TECH – YOU CAN ASK US ANYTHING.
Hi SheCanCode,
I’m hoping you can help! I graduated from university about 18 months ago and luckily secured a job in the tech industry fairly quickly. However, after just 3 months I was fired and since then I’ve been searching for another role.
I’m finding it rather difficult at the moment – there aren’t many jobs that I fit the criteria for, my confidence is hit and to be honest, I think I might be depressed.
Is it possible to get PTSD from being fired? What can I do to get my confidence back?
Thanks!
HI THERE,
I’m so sorry to hear this, losing your job can be a difficult experience at any stage in your career. I recommend speaking to a professional if you’re feeling depressed or worried about PTSD – visit your GP or find a counsellor who can help you work through what’s happened.
When you’re feeling ready, there are definitely ways to start to grow your confidence. Here are some questions for you to consider:
What does confidence mean to me?
Confidence means different things to different people. Try to understand what confidence means to you as you begin to think about ways to strengthen yours.
Consider what feeling more confident would help you to do, and think about where your confidence levels currently are and where you’d like them to be. I find it helps to use a scale from 0 to 100. It often shows that we don’t need a huge surge in confidence to get to where we’d like to be.
When have I felt confident in the past?
This is useful because it helps to identify the things that help you feel more self-assured – things that you can start to bring into your life now.
Ask yourself how you felt at that time. Think beyond the word confident, and try to find other words that could describe what you experienced. Perhaps you felt calm, or fearless, or organised?
Next list out what helped you to feel that way. What had you done and what external factors were helping you to feel confident?
What could you learn from this? How does it relate to your current situation?
What’s the real challenge for me here?
Take some time to think about what you’re really finding difficult. Perhaps the way you lost your job is on your mind, or maybe the job hunting process is getting you down. Understanding what’s at the root of how you’re feeling and what could be getting in the way of building your confidence means that you’re in a much better place to start addressing it.
What are my strengths?
Recognising your strengths is a great confidence booster, but it goes beyond that. Understanding where you’re already strong means that you can draw on those attributes as you start to nurture your confidence.
There are some great free strengths tools online, and I sometimes encourage my clients to ask three people from different parts of their lives (e.g. friends, family, colleagues) to describe them in three words. This will give you an insight into the strengths others see, that you might not have noticed yourself.
Where will I start?
Drawing on your strengths and your past experiences, what small actions could you take now that could make a big impact? Put them down on paper and set yourself achievable deadlines. Check in with yourself regularly to see whether you’re on track, and if you’re not, be kind to yourself. Think about what’s stopping you and find ways to work around it, adjust your deadlines, or try something new.
It’s so tough to lose and be looking for a job. Remember to take care of yourself, and know that this situation can change for the better.
